From the Diary of Any Woman...
December 16, 2005 Entry One
The Words I Could Never Speak...
Such seems to be the case for me in our relationship. It's been that way from the beginning...always something I was afraid to tell you...back then, it was something so simple as, "I love you." But then, I learned you loved me too and I was strengthened to voice my own opinion....since it matched yours. We were good together...and I mean good! Your ideas meshed with mine...your imagination carried me places I didn't know existed and the love I felt from you far surpassed any I'd ever felt in my entire life. I wanted you to want me and you wanted me to want you...and I did...so badly. You quickly became my everything...but you weren't mine to keep. I'd have to share you. It's just your flirtatious nature to play with them...make them curious about you, because they see how happy we are...but are you really? Do you love this life of togetherness that I adore. Or do you long for the days of old when your heart was free... it belonged to no one...least of all to me.
You say I have nothing to worry about. That everyone else knows who you love...now in all my security I seem insecure to you...day by day I lose my luster and make you question what attracted you to me in the first place?
I guess all I really want you to know is, I love you. I want that to mean something to you, but honestly, I can't force it to. I feel like I'm holding on to someone and to something that I should just set free. But letting go of you is so damn hard. It's as if I'd be committing suicide on one side. You are my better half. So surely it would be the best part of me that would die. So here I sit today...still holding on...when deep in my heart I know you want me to let you go....you just can't find the words to tell me because you don't want to hurt me...when in the meantime...with all that I feel from the unspoken words between us...today, I still can't find the strength to do what must be done...maybe.. tomorrow...
Signed sorrowfully,
One who loves you...eternally
The Words I Could Never Speak...
Such seems to be the case for me in our relationship. It's been that way from the beginning...always something I was afraid to tell you...back then, it was something so simple as, "I love you." But then, I learned you loved me too and I was strengthened to voice my own opinion....since it matched yours. We were good together...and I mean good! Your ideas meshed with mine...your imagination carried me places I didn't know existed and the love I felt from you far surpassed any I'd ever felt in my entire life. I wanted you to want me and you wanted me to want you...and I did...so badly. You quickly became my everything...but you weren't mine to keep. I'd have to share you. It's just your flirtatious nature to play with them...make them curious about you, because they see how happy we are...but are you really? Do you love this life of togetherness that I adore. Or do you long for the days of old when your heart was free... it belonged to no one...least of all to me.
You say I have nothing to worry about. That everyone else knows who you love...now in all my security I seem insecure to you...day by day I lose my luster and make you question what attracted you to me in the first place?
I guess all I really want you to know is, I love you. I want that to mean something to you, but honestly, I can't force it to. I feel like I'm holding on to someone and to something that I should just set free. But letting go of you is so damn hard. It's as if I'd be committing suicide on one side. You are my better half. So surely it would be the best part of me that would die. So here I sit today...still holding on...when deep in my heart I know you want me to let you go....you just can't find the words to tell me because you don't want to hurt me...when in the meantime...with all that I feel from the unspoken words between us...today, I still can't find the strength to do what must be done...maybe.. tomorrow...
Signed sorrowfully,
One who loves you...eternally
posted by MsSkee at 10:21 AM
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